Men's Camping Trip

    
       I am deviating from the series I am doing on how we limit God, but I will finish it.  For now, though, I am going to do a post about camping trips.  Men's camping trips, that is.  I recently went on an overnight camping trip with my five brothers, and that resulted in some ideas for a blog post.  So here goes.....

       Things you must take on a men's camping trip-
1.  Guns.  It wouldn't be a "men's" camping trip without them.  We took our 22's and a BB gun; just take your gun of choice.  (On longer trips, you may need a bigger gun and some dynamite.)
2.  Ammo.  Obviously.
3.  Knives (such as pocket knives, hunting knives, etc).  Pocket knives can double as butcher knives and table-knives and can even work as a fork in a pinch (but only on a "men's" camping trip).  This thought may sound gross to some people, but seriously, if you can use a knife for raw meat, then why not for cooked?
4.  Sleeping bags.
5.  Men.  Preferably younger brothers, at least if you have them.  If not, call me about renting mine.
Brothers can come in handy, serving as cooks, fire-starters, wood-collectors, etc.

       Things that aren't necessary, but are handy.
1.  Flashlights.  Let me explain.  If your brothers are like mine, they will take a flashlight along, and you can borrow it!  This is seriously what happened on our trip.  Two of my brothers brought flashlights, and the rest of us didn't.  Well, while getting ready for bed, we just shared the flashlights, and that worked fine until the two with flashlights left the tent to get something, at the same time!  Now, before you think that we had an argument about it, we didn't.  After all, real men don't argue.  They settle disagreements with fist-fights! (JUST KIDDING!!)

2.  Food.  This is really handy, but you can always get your own grub in the woods.  (No, marshmallows don't grow on trees, but you should be able to get by with some small game and fish.)

3.  A tent.  If you don't have one, you can always sleep under the stars.

       What not to take on a men's camping trip-
1.  Cellphones.  Okay, you can take one if it's absolutely necessary, but don't use it more than you have to.  I mean, what if Daniel Boone or Davy Crockett walked out of the woods and saw you sitting at your campfire texting?  Just be a man, stay off your phone, and enjoy the woods.

2.  Alarm clocks.  If your brothers are like mine, they will wake up at dawn anyways.  And trust me, when my brothers wake up, my sleep is OVER!

       So, with the weather warming up, get out of the house and spend some time in the woods.  And if you are interested in renting any of my brothers for a weekend, give me a call.  And make sure you remember to ask about the bulk rate.  (I give discounts if you take all five!)



DISCLAIMER- This article has NOT been approved or sanctioned by the FDA, EPA, or PITA.  The opinions stated are solely those of the writer.  The writer is not responsible for any calamities suffered by anyone who actually takes his advice.  Do NOT try this at home; only at the campsite!